BONER! Forgot to mention this...

Saturday night on our cab ride home from Santa Monica. Jordan and I were riding in the backseat and Brian was riding shotgun. About 2 minutes into the ride, Jordan asks the foreign cab drives if he's popped any boners tonight.

The driver is perplexed.

Brian tells him that boners means customers.

For the next 20 minutes, Jordan and Brian proceed to use the word boners in every way possible. Big boners. Cheap boners. Fat boners. Black boners. Emotional boners.

You had to be there.

Friday: went to a house party in Santa Monica. Brian, Jordan and I killed a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black. Brian had 4 red cups. I had 2. Whiskey on the rocks: new favorite drink. Foles likes the Walker. I am more into the royalty (Crown Royal). Stopped at Il Tremezino for 3 chicken specials. Amazing. Came home, watched the first ten minutes of PAPER SOLDIERS then went to sleep.

Saturday: had brunch with an assistant from 3Arts. Very cool girl. Actually made me laugh. Rare that a girl does that. Played tennis with Preston. Rolled to Los Feliz to try and go to this street fair. Brian and I couldn't find parking so we turned around and bounced. Picked up some Chipotle on the way home. Steak burrito bowl. There has to be crack in those things. In the words of Faraz, "every burrito bowl I have is better than the one before it." It's really true. Brian and I picked up a handle of crown and finished half of it before rolling to Monroe's. The bartender hooked us with some free drinks. The DJ was off the chain. DJ Cobra. Went home.

Sunday: slept til noon. Amazing. So fucking hot in my apartment. I only got up cuz I was so hot. Went to Jack and Jill's for lunch. Breakfast wrap was off the meat hook. Took a nap. Or tried to. Too fucking hot. My knees were sweating. Slept on the floor next to the AC for like 10 min. Went to the gym, did the elliptical for an hour and talked on the phone (yeah, I'm that guy). I either read a script or talk on the phoe. Sascha and I grabbed some sushi and saw this movie called JUNEBUG (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418773/). It was damn good. Amy Adams was amazing in it. Came home, watched the second half of ROME (eh, it was okay). Watched highlights from the VMA's (Diddy is corny, R. Kelly is MAD creepy, 50 is an idiot for calling out Fat Joe). Watched ENTOURAGE. Oh my god. Great episode. Cannot wait for the season finale. I have a feeling next season will the last one. The show doesn't go anywhere.

Anyway, off to bed. 4.5 day week. Vegas this weekend. 2 story, 2000 sq foot suite. Should be ridiculous.

HOLLA!!

Listening to: Kanye West "Late Registration"

IM me if you want the album

People are really stupid. At Milton, I was pretty impressed with the level of intelligence amongst my peers. After attending my 5 year reunion in May, I still believed my peers were intelligent, just not as cool as me.

At Emory, I was generally disappointed with the intellectual ability of those around me. My inner circle was pretty smart, but overall, I thought kids at Emory were pretty stupid. Boy was a wrong. Talk about the bar being lowered.

I am around really stupid people roughly 13 hours per day. Stupid people who don't know how to turn a computer off. Stupid people who don't know their ass from their elbow. Stupid people who don't know a good movie from a bad movie. I think this is a bad thing for me. Sure, my IQ may say I'm a genius, but let's face it "drugs and alkeehall have ruined my life." No, but seriously, all these stupid people are just fueling my ego which was topped off last time I went I got a fill up.

I have been intellectually spoiled my whole life. From Stephen S. Weiss pre school, to Oakwood through junior high, especially Milton, then Emory, I have been around smart people. Now I am in the real world. Err...wait a minute. Sorry, I am in Hollywood. Now, you'd think people would be smart in Hollywood, right? Nope. Look at the movies that come out. DEUCE BIGALOW 2? HUSTLE AND FLOW (to all you "trick whoopin" fans, I'm sorry)? STARSKY AND HUTCH? I mean, come on. I feel like a greased up deaf guy could come up with better shit than that.

I used to give people the benefit of the doubt. That's over.

I was stuck behind a slow moving Cadillac sedan this morning on the way to work. It was one of those new SRX's so I was surprised to find the the driver was a "late model" while the car was brand new. It took her about 5 minutes and 3 lights to make a left turn from Olympic to Rodeo. Pulled into the garage, saw three possible spaces before I hit the lowest garage level. I tried pulling into one, only to find out it was a "short space" not meant for a truck like mine. The other two were technically open but the cars next to it were creeping over the line making it virtually impossible for me to slide in (I thought about cramming it in there, Wil May style, but decided against it with the new paint job).

No cinnamon raisin bagels left. Couldn't do the butter on one half, cream cheese on the other. There was, however, one onion bagel left. I was all over that like Lo Fat Nate n' Al's cream cheese. There were like 20 rye bagels and an infinity of WHEAT bagels. Who eats those? It was a caffeine morning too. I usually don' like to do caffeine but I was a little sleepy this morning. Made a cup of English Breakfast tea. I don't do coffee. Stains your teeth, is highly acidic and stinks your breath.

Chicken leftovers for lunch coupled with the next 30 minutes of FALLING DOWN (with Michael Douglas). Hopefully the "guy on the couch" is not still sleeping. There will be hell to pay if he is. He is only in town until Sunday so I'm not trying to win any popularity contests or make any best friends.

Playing in my head right now: Staple Singers "Let's Do It Again"

Why blog?

I saw my friend Blake was blogging and I read her blog and I was all like "My shit'd be a lot more interesting than that." (Seriously, it is, check hers out www.blakelroberts.blogspot.com ; all she talks about is her bird Roxy). So hurr it is. My blog. To all those who laugh when I say things like "I'll save it for the memoir" or "this would make a great chapter in my life story" or "this song would sound great during the closing credits of the movie about my life"; to all those people "BLOG YOU!"

Today? Today was a little better than yesterday. My boss didn't yell at me. That was cool. It's not that I care that he yells at me, because I really don't. Of course I want to do my job well, but I am well aware that the correlation between how good of a job I do and my boss' temper is not a direct one. I forget how this would be represented mathematically but I think it could involve a graph and one of those "not equal to" signs.

Anyway, so when he gets angry at me, it's kind of like when a Jimmy Eat World CD skips. Jimmy Eat World sucks as it is. When a Jimmy Eat World CD skips, it REALLY fucking sucks. For those who don't know JEW...
SIX FEET UNDER (to fellow Hollywoodians: notice how you capitalize titles to TV shows and movies now?) really sucks and is really pretentious. If you are unfortunate enough to have seen an entire episode (like one where they show two dudes fucking) and are watching TV and happen to stumble upon another one you might not have seen and decide to give it a chance and then there is another scene of two dudes fucking, that REALLY sucks and is REALLY pretentious. That's kind of like how my relationship with my boss is.

I almost quit on Monday. He was being so condescending and blamed his own tardiness to a meeting on me even though I reminded him thrice....THRICE! I threw my headset down and was like "I've had enough of this fucking shit." I realized I shouldn't quit. I couldn't let him break me. He was like "your name is Toby Reynolds." I was like "my name is Kunta Kinte." CRACK! He was like "your name is Toby Reynolds." I was like "my name is Kunta Kinte." CRACK! He was like "your name is Toby Reynolds." I was like "my name is Kunta Kinte." CRACK!

I took three deep breaths and wrote an email to HR. I met with the HR guy and he calmed me down. "Everyone at this company is fucking insane. At the end of the day, just do a good job and tell him to go fuck himself." Obviously I don't do that to his face, but it feels so good.

Toward the end of the day today, I had to hit up the restroom. I walked up to the urinal which sits next to another urinal separated by a divider. At the right urinal was a boardmember peeing. He also happened to be my dad's agent. These situations crack me up. It's one thing to walk into a bathroom and have three people shitting at once because let's face it, unless you really pay attention to shoes, you have no idea who is squatting. However, when you are at a urinal, even if you don't make eye contact, you can see the person out of the corner of your eye. You almost have to acknowledge them, right? I mean, what's the protocol when you are peeing next to someone. If there's a divider, I think acknowledgement is appropriate since there's no chance of the person thinking you are trying to sneak a peak.

A few weeks ago, I told my boss I had to go to the restroom. I pulled up to the urinal and unzipped. The door opens. I see a person out the corner of my eye make their way to the right urinal; dark complexion; tall (not as tall as me). I turned me head slightly. "Don't worry, I'm not checking up on you," said my boss. Me: "Hahaha, _____ I would never think that. Come on now" (<----SO AWKWARD). I mean, as it is, he and I don't have real, human conversation with him outside of the bathroom, away from a porcelain piss receptacle. How the fuck am I supposed to interact with him while my dick is hanging out and I am facing a wall? Advice?

Anyway, I watched this great flick tonight with Sascha. AALTRA. Check out the website www.aaltra-roadmovie.com Watch the video clips http://www.aaltra-roadmovie.com/english/accueil.php
I saw it in Ireland at the Ireland Film Institute. It's a French/Belgian film but it takes place in France and Finland. Very subtle humor but fucking hilarious. Seriously. Watch the clips. I had California Chicken Cafe for dinner. Didn't go to the gym tonight cuz I went to hang with Sascha. I will go in the morning before work.

Got the new Kanye album. On first listen, I'm not thinking it's as hot as COLLEGE DROPOUT. It's hot though. The song with Paul Wall is the off the meat hook. The skits are hilarious. One is about a fraternity called Broke Phi Broke and they do step dances saying things:
BROKE PHI BROKE we ain't got it
We can't...afford...no gas NO WE CAN'T AFFORD IT

I love Kanye. Maybe he will buy my "Prep Hop" idea. Oh, you ain't know? I will save that for tomorrow. Until then. Keep it trill.

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